Some people are born with an extra finger or an extra toe.
I too was born with an extra digit, my penis.
To me this is a birth defect and just like people get their birth defects corrected, my birth defect will also be corrected.
For many years I have had this love/hate relationship with my penis, and I am so over it, that I am beginning to, for the first time, not just dislike it, but I hate it.
It absolutely repulses me to have to be reminded every time I go to the bathroom, or take a shower that it is still there, it won't go away, like a dead man with his fingers hanging out of his coffin, it keeps hanging on and I want it gone.
I've been reading about how many trans women have problems after having had SRS Sex Reassignment Surgery, and one thing is for sure, I am not going to put myself in a situation where instead of being happy with my modification, I regret it.
From the time I began my M2F transition, I have tried too hard to please others by trying to fit into other's image and interpretation of what it means to be a trans woman.
No longer will I bend to try to fit into anyone's perfect image of a trans woman. I am called a freak and some people in the trans community say that I make all trans people look like freaks.
When it all comes right down to it, I need to do what is best for me, and I could give a rats posterior if I do not fit into what others consider to be THEIR perfect version of a trans woman. I am not a sexually active individual and tbh the thought of engaging in sexual intercourse with another human also repulses me.
I don't care if some or all of the trans community is against me. I will not bend, will not cave in and I will not sacrifice my integrity and my self love and my self worth to conform to the whims of anyone.
Yes, I am a freak and I wave my freak flag proudly, but, even thought I will most likely opt for a penectomy/castration over an SRS, and go completely gender less, I am also a transgender individual, and I don't care what anyone has to say about the matter or who dislikes or doesn't agree.
The trans community should start building itself up by supporting each other regardless of our differences instead of tearing itself down.
We all look different, so let's come together and embrace each others differences which creates the beautiful diversity in the trans community and love one another.
